The Truth About Being Gay

I’m a man who likes dick, and that’s political. Any heterosexual who claims it’s a private matter and I shouldn’t advertise it should a) go fuck himself b) shut the fuck up and not tell me what to do. I like dick; I’m not a pushover.

I used to think “gay” connected me to a culture and a community too, but boy, has that changed. I won’t deny the gay scene provided me with a haven when I needed to explore who I was and come into my own, but it was a pit stop, not terminus. Besides, the gay scene is tightly entangled with nightlife, which in the long run wasn’t good for me at all.

The truth about being gay is it doesn’t make us family. I used to think it did, but I don’t anymore. The average human feels utterly alien to me. The average gay is worse. And it’s not because of the way they are, it’s because of the assumptions they instantly make about me—namely, that sex, parties, and Madonna are important to me. They’re not. I can’t remember the last time I had sex. I don’t drink or go out anymore (I want to live healthy). And I mean, Madonna is okay and all, but I’m sober now. I’m thirty-seven, almost. I don’t fucking squeal like a girl. (I’m aware not all gays are like that. That’s the whole point of this post.)

To each his own, and I have a fondness in my heart for the gay community, and gay culture, and I still hold trannies in due reverence (bitches are fucking warriors—all should bow to them). But I don’t like to be the subject of prejudice. Not from straight people and not from my fellow gays.

When I say I’m gay, it’s political. It tells you nothing of myself. When I say I’m gay, I’m not talking sexual preference; I’m talking about equality and that’s it. If I wanted to tell you I prefer dick over pussy, I’d just go out and say it. “I like men,” because it’s true as well, but unlike my political stance, my sexual preference is none of your fucking business.

So, when I write in my bio, here or on Twitter, that I’m gay, it’s a political opinion. Don’t assume it means we’re pals or you can send me a picture of your prick (yes, those things happen). Assuming I care creates a fake bond between us that is just insulting to the both of us. And by the way, if you want to get close to me, here’s a tip:

I like men. Start there.


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